DHS agents abandon search for Martians

Hundreds recalled from Roswell

ROSWELL, N.M. -- Err Travel has learned that the Department of Homeland Security (DHS) is recalling all the agents that it had secretly dispatched to this small town southeast of Albuquerque.


According to reliable sources, agents from the DHS have, over the past five months, slowly and surreptitiously been taking up residency here with the objective of identifying as many as 5000 aliens from another planet, who are still believed to be living in the area ever since the first one arrived here in 1947.

It was discovered last week that an error in an order issued by Susan Naitram, the acting Director of Air Marshall Recruiting at DHS, caused the agents to be directed to New Mexico instead of New Jersey.

Ms. Naitram is an avid amateur astronomer, who for the past year has been swept up in the excitement in that community of the near-arrival of Mars. Apparently the excitement of that event was on her mind this past April when, in introducing a renewed campaign to recruit air marshals, she issued instructions to her staff to "recruit rare Martians."


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No one questioned her order, and the error was uncovered only when the General Accounting Office began an inquiry of the expense reports of nearly 150 agents who had set up housekeeping in and around Roswell.

Ms. Naitram resigned her post yesterday without comment.

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